Time Machine

**This is not a game. This is not a simulation. This is a fully functioning portal with the capability to send travelers hurtling through space and time.** Hello attractive sir and/or madam! Have you ever dreamt of what everyday life was like during an age forgotten by time? Do you lie awake at night wondering if citizens of the future will still be required to wear pants? Well, wonder no more. Our team of demoralized interns and undermined quantum physicists sacrificed what would have been enjoyable and rewarding lives to develop the world's first and only time machine. Why spend your hard earned money on another ill-fated family excursion to this year's trendiest tourist destination, when you can allow yourself to be transported across an ocean of time, and experience history like never before.